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Monday, December 20, 2010

Secrets of a PJ - Finally Revealed

For most of you who know me, will be aware of my favourite hobby, PJ ing. Many of you must be wondering what is it that gives me the strength to continue day in and day out, relentlessly every single minute? Well as I have been the uncrowned king of PJs for the past 3 years in a row, I feel that it is my duty to enlighten the masses about this talent.

So, what are the basic requirements to be a PJ ist?

First, you need to be very observant. Yes, you need to be very keen in your observations. Especially, you need to have a very sharp sense of hearing. You must be able to catch hold of any word spoken by a colleague and remember it for a long time.

Second, you need to have a “wild” imagination. You should be able to dream and build up hypothetical scenarios and fit in events from your daily life into them. The more bizarre your imagination can get, the more is the probability of your success. For example, if someone asks you, “hey, what’s up?”. You should be able to answer, “tube light, fans or ceiling”. That’s for the beginners. More experienced personnel can respond by talking about atoms and molecules of oxygen, nitrogen, CO2, SO2, about microbes and viruses, etc.

Third, you need to have courage. Courage is very important to master this art. Since, very few people are well versed with this art, and it is a difficult one, you must be able to deal with any comments that are flung at you by the critics. You must not be afraid to take a pick at your closest friend or sometimes even at yourself for the sake of the art.

Fourth, you need to be comfortable. It is just like a coy actress appearing for the first time in short skirts in a bollywood movie. If she is not comfortable in it, the audience will not enjoy it. You too need forego all your inhibitions.

Fifth, you need to be very determined. Everyone is not successful at the first attempt. Do not lose heart, persuade yourself to continue and success will be yours.

Sixth and seventh are very closely related, dedication and devotion to your work. You must be looking forth to cracking a PJ every single moment, walking, talking, sleeping, bathing……. you must not hold yourself back and speak out whenever something sparks, be it in a lecture, in a meeting, with your beloved, or just anywhere.

Ninth, confidence. You need to be confident about what you speak. It is this confidence which will save you from any possible assault.

Tenth, respect. You must have respect for fellow proponents of the art.

Eleventh, you must have the capacity to talk incessantly for long duration of time, even hours at end if the situation demands.

Twelfth, and most important, you must be a joyful person. You must be able to find out the humour hidden in even the weirdest of the situations and put it forth irrespective of your mood and feelings.

And, lastly (thirteenth), you need to develop your own style which should be different from anyone else. You must be very expressive. You should master the art of facial expressions and body movements to add some spice to your argument. Besides, you need to have a lot of reading. You must have a good vocabulary to stun people with your choice of words. You must be able to coin new words.

These, were but a few major requirements to be good PJ master. Ultimately, the call has to come from within. It is just like taking a horse to the water. I’ve done that. Now, you have to drink the water. These are just the basic rules for successful PJ ing. Individual variations are possible. Any knowledge is useless unless put to practice. So, start immediately and remember that, “Practice makes a man Perfect”.

By the way, point eight missing. You looked up and smiled. Yes, you have it in you. Don’t hold back. Let your talent blossom. For further guidance feel free to contact me. P.S. - this document is protected by copyright laws.