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Saturday, June 4, 2011

Mr. J's REPORT


(This is a concluding continuation of a previous blog
THE ANONYMOUS RED ROSE. It is advisable that you read it once (click here) , if you haven't earlier, or revise its contents to follow the conclusion better)
After all the researches and investigations, Mr. J proclaims that the case of THE ANONYMOUS RED ROSE is solved!

He also notes that the issue received undue importance and unwarranted attention, considering it wasn't that grave a crime! Thereby, things just snowballed. Mr. J also feels that if he had not intervened when he did, things could have got worse.
The reason why he declined the offer initially was because a lot of people involved were his close associates and he did not wish to strain his relations by implicating any of them. However, he could not reject the call of duty for long, and finally took it up!

THE ANONYMOUS ADMIRER

'The Anonymous Admirer' is none other than the Blue-Eyed Girl. Mr. J's initial suspects were every male in the community, but after deep and thorough investigations and interrogations, he realized that all efforts were being made in the wrong direction and hence no ground could be broken. (Not that he wishes to break any ground. It is vacation time and he wants children to enjoy the play.) He was able to single out the Blue Eyed Girl because of his accurate observations, awareness and high index of suspicion. Here is the entire story:

'That the Blue Eyed Girl and the Dumb Boy had mutually mortgaged their hearts was a well known fact. However, over the past couple of months, situations had changed. The Blue Eyed Girl had realized that there wasn't much scope of development with the current partnership and had singled out on another developer. For that to happen, however, she would have to release her heart from the mortgage of the Dumb Boy. The interactions had slowly, changed into a love-hate relation, in which the Dumb Boy loved Blue Eyed Girl, and the Blue Eyed Girl hated the Dumb Boy. The Dumb Boy, because he was Dumb, could not understand the shift in poilicies and political will, and therefore, continued to remain encroached on the Blue Eyed Girl's property.

This led the Blue Eyed Girl to formulate the Revised Dumb Boy Eradication Programme under which was to get him involved in unruly activities so as to serve as means to achieving the goals. The calculations and statistical analysis that had been available since a long time, indicated that an Anonymous Red rose to the Rose Cheeked Girl would serve as an ideal start for the campaign. It would definitely lead to massive and large-scale public outrage.

These findings were confirmed by the fact that although the Dumb Boy had received clearance certificates by both the erstwhile investigatory committees, his mortgage license to the Blue Eyed Girl's heart was revoked immediately only under the pretext of being a suspect and unestablished grounds of indisciplinary actions. Also, that this was the first incidence of its kind, and all others followed suit. This monumental incidence, however went unnoticed and was under-reported, as everyone was busy investigating for other causes. It was only when Mr. J investigated, that it was given due importance.

Suspect 2 and the Blue Eyed Girl, had in the past too, attempted to sign treaties, but all talks had failed due to some conditions which were unacceptable to the Blue Eyed Girl, which included technological backlog. However, considering the recent developments and success of Suspect 2, he had caught the Blue Eyed Girl's attention. Mr. J would like to make a special mention here that Suspect 2 is a very industrious individual, and was constantly on the look-out for appropriate pacts, treaties and coalition from other appropriate authorities. And the prospect of the Blue Eyed Girl Project were very rewarding to be let gone.


(artwork by his greatness Jayesh Vira)

Verdict:
The culprit is the Blue Eyed Girl, but he does not recommend any punishment, for RIGHT TO GROWTH, RIGHT TO HAPPINESS AND RIGHT TO SELF-DETERMINATION are fundamental rights of an individual.

THE THIRD THREATENER:

At the end of his investigations, Mr. J has found out that the Third Threatener, is none other than The Rose Cheeked Girl.

Who the other two threateners were is quite obvious and the co-responding authorities have accepted responsibility for the same.

Mr. J felt suspicious of The Rose Cheeked Girl, when he went to inform her about the threats served to Suspect 1. The reaction that he received from her were totally unexpected! The behavioural pattern indicated that she was aware of the happenings. On further probing it was realized that the Rose Cheeked Girl felt that her future would be doomed if the allegations on Suspect 1 were to be true! She felt that her good will and face value would suffer badly and irreparably if the allegations were to be proved true. Also, that such a revelation would be detrimental to many of her future projects and would actually drive many of the prospective partners away.

Verdict:
Mr. J concludes that what the Rose Cheeked Girl did was to the best of her abilities according to the need of the hour and keeping her own best interest in consideration . He, however, strongly recommends that she keep herself updated on modern operational techniques, so that she can provide a standard of treatment which is acceptable to all and abreast with the modern times, should such situations arise in the future.

Mr. J also concludes that the methods used by the erstwhile investigatory committees are Barbaric, and should be discontinued immediately. He also suggests that they be dismantled with immediate effect and a new committee be appointed to look into all such future incidences.

He would also like to add an end-note that when ever help is required for the larger cause and benefit of HUMANITY, he will always be a phone call, sms, or email away. If you don't have this information, all you have to do is go on the terrace of any building and shout “Mr. J save me. Help. Help!” and he will be there within the blink of the eye.

Mr. J urges you to be mature citizens of the world and act accordingly.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

THE ANONYMOUS RED ROSE

Red roses, I have learnt have been the traditional hot favourites among people who have undergone mutual heart transplants. Composers have written songs on this phenomenon. And there have been an innumerable number of such exchanges since time immemorial. But, what draws my attention, is this particular incidence of the Anonymous Red Rose.

To avoid any new controversy in my hitherto scandal striken life, I will stick to non-specific references. Long long ago, actually not really that long ago, a Red Rose reached a Rose cheeked girl, from an Anonymous admirer. So touched was she by this gesture, that the Rose cheek turned into a Red cheek. She tried hard to hide her happiness, but it just showed up like an unwanted guest. How hard she tried to keep it at bay, it would still come back in all public display. The word spread like a wild forest fire. And within no time, everyone, was talking about her. But, also stealing the spotlight, was this anonymous admirer. Since, he was anonymous, who could it be? So many a folks had tried in the past, unsuccessful attempts though, to please the Rose cheeked girl. But, finally it took an anonymous admirer to give her the blushes!

Now, there emerged two schools of thought on this. One was a set of fingers pointing to the obvious individual. And there was a debate, “He is too cowardly to do such an act” said one.
He is too miser to pay for the rose and not take the credit”, said another.
He is the one. I saw it on his face”, claimed the third.
But, it could be him as well”, said the fourth pointing towards another potential candidate.

The second school of thought maintained that it was a mischief done by a miscreant to bring Miss Rose cheeks to level zero, but had misfired. They said Mr. Anonymous was one of the those, whose ego had been hurt when the Rose cheeked girl had buried their proposals six feet under and never looked back.

And so began a race among the two schools.
It became a matter of pride for the two groups, to prove themselves right. Firstly, who will get the first lead, and secondly who will be proved correct ultimately. Men were at war with each other. All daily chores were set aside, and everyone was out on the man hunt. What followed were a series of investigations, in which no suspect was left unapproachable.

When even after a suitable amount of time, no ice could be broken, the two groups started resorting to unfair means. Kidnaps, torture and even when nothing worked bribes became a common place. Men with ego clashes have no limit, and as the saying goes, “Everything is fair in Love and War. Here, it was both.”

Even those individuals (well they can't be called individuals, for they had long united with members of the fairer sex and lost their individuality) were questioned. And this led to a lot of tensions, and unsettled all those who had 'settled'. The whole period was marked by a series of break-ups of the erstwhile households over disciplinary issues. None the less, many got their individuality back!

Some civilized citizens, however felt that the situation was getting out of control and the way men were fighting like dogs, was uncalled for. Hence, they proposed that an independent investigatory team be formed, composed of individuals who are unbiased towards any of the suspects and the Red cheeked girl. The search was concluded, and only one person was found capable enough, him being Mr. J, for he was a man who was preoccupied with his own profession, to even spare a biased thought toward either party. Mr. J, however, refused to take up this employment.

With no caps now, the activities of the two groups became more intensified. Heinous crimes were on the rise. Random people were being beaten up on the counts of non-cooperation. The prime suspect received a death threat, in fact three death threats, one pushing him to refuse the allegation, the other pushing him to accept the same, and the third, “If the allegations turn out to be true, you will be dead!”
The poor fellow was in a fix. He approached Mr. J for help. From what had transpired, it was clear, that the Anonymous admirer, was anyone but suspect 1. More so, it was the person who had sent the third threat. The search therefore, shifted to find out the source of the third threat.

Suspect 2 was ruled out, because of the support package and refuge that he had provided to the Blue eyed girl, following the calamity of the investigation which had led her to emigrate away from her household.

All investigations were now back to square one. All that was left now was to determine who had sent the third threat and they would have their man. Mr. J now volunteered to take up the case. He visited the Rose cheeked girl for a final interrogation. She was deeply moved on learning about the threat issued to suspect 1. Mr. J asked her if she had a suspicion on some one. She said, there wasn't one she could think of, there were many.

Mr. J then screened all the suspect cases who were rejected by the Rose cheeked girl to exclude any false negatives in the investigation. He visited suspect 1 on an emergency basis for the last time and declared the case was closed.

(match your wits with me and tell me who do you think the anonymous admirer, and the third threatener is, before Mr. J publishes his report)