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Monday, August 20, 2012


Apu and Kappu were very good friends. They were so close that everyone thought that perhaps they would never be able to live without each other. Then one day something happened and they ceased to be friends. Everyone said they had a misunderstanding of sorts. They accepted they had a misunderstanding of sorts, yet they never took any effort to resolve it.

When I heard of this story, I was pretty amused. Among the many things that I believe in (which includes that  The BMC had bribed the Rain Gods this year to have scanty downpour so that potholes on the roads do not create potholes in their lives and that all politicians are clean, its just the whistle blowers that make them corrupt and that UP has a future and so on and so forth) is that there can never be misunderstandings.

You always understand what you want to understand! There is a saying in medicine, "The eyes do not see, what the mind does not know". Similarly, the ears hear only what the mind wants to hear! So all this misunderstanding business is just hokum. Unless you have a distorted view and your ideas are rotten, you probably cant misunderstand anything. Bang your head on the wall if you don't know of a conversation which included,"I was joking! You got it all wrong." Seriously, how dumb could you have been to not have gotten a joke! Or perhaps, it was your own mind pulling off a dirty joke.

So, even I have friends who are or should I say were like Apu and Kappu. In fact, all of us have at some point in time been either Apu or Kappu or would know of someone in such a dilemma. But in this case, both Apu and Kappu aren't willing to admit that there may have been a misunderstanding. Neither do they hold any one else responsible for the strife. Intelligent people one would say! Yet, invariably they expect me to be the mediator and help them reach a settlement.

Two things work against this. One, my extreme noteworthy self obsession. As huge as my self obsession is, I am sure that in same remote village in India when some kid does not share his toys his mother tells him "Share beta share, nahi to JV aa jaayega!" And I have drawn a lot of flank from both Apu and Kappu for not doing my bit to make matters as rosy as before. But, I really don't see the point in this. I fail to understand how one superman's obsession can cause so much harm to two people he holds near to him.

Second, I am a bad mediator. See, I am training to be a doctor. To heal wounds. I am no lawyer that I'll be able to negotiate an arbitration. I know I have great abilities and I can do almost anything in this world, but this is one thing that is not in my hands. Perhaps wen you decide to call it off entirely or one of you gives in  and has a bruised ego, come to me, I'll heal you. But till then, I am no good.

Despite my limitations, I did try, not just once but twice. And badly failed on both occasions. And also had to bear the brunt for making matters worse. As if I hadn't warned you! It may again partly be because we usually discuss such matters over food. And given the perennial  state of inflation in this our country, the value of money has depreciated. You get that same sense of fullness  when you go out to a diner anymore. So, it is but just obvious that I would attempt to draw out some free entertainment along with the food.

Just a parting word to all Apus and Kappus, the best way out, is to not involve many people. All of them may not be truthful enough as me to acknowledge that they gain happiness out of your sticky wicket situation. Its your problem and you oughtta find a way out of it, if you want to that is!

I write this blog not because I am a stone hearted, devoid of emotions narcissist, but because I am amused at the very thought of how you have managed to get yourself in this soup!