Search here


Follow by Email

Monday, March 14, 2011


HELLO friends, rejoice, I am back. Today's topic of discussion is as usual very spiritual, 'THE INNER VOICE'. For centuries, philosophers and thinkers have wasted their hairs on answering this inner voice. This is the one who has no other occupation but to keep on raising questions. Scholars say, that if not for the inner voice the world would not have progressed. I say, if not for the inner voice the world be a very boring place. If it tells you to close this window right now, you will. If it decides that you should read further, you will.
The con master that I am, I have time and again proposed quite a few theories towards the origin of this inner voice (as some of you know that I am about a zillion years old. In short I am IMMORTAL), to fool the mortals:

The stone age theory: There are stones in your head, and as you use your head they rub against each other and make noise. This holds true for many people today as well, just that now a days most of these noises are externalised rather than keeping them internalised.

The water age theory: Each time you think, there is a tsunami in your head, and that is what makes the noise.

The fire age theory: Every time you use your head, some of the sawdust inside catches fire, which causes the noise.

The animal-husbandry age theory: Every time you use your head, its the whip on the ass, that makes the noise.

The poultry-farm age theory: The eggs inside are hatching.

The wheel age theory: There is a donkey cart in your head. Each time you use your head, the cart moves and the donkey makes the noise.(Thus, the MENTOS advert is so true). This theory too, holds true in many cases today.-)

The agriculture age theory: Every time you use your head, its contents get husked and that makes the noise.

The metal age theory: The empty vessels are banging against each other, and making the noise.

The ice age theory: Well, the glaciers are sliding.

The vedic age theory: This is the time when I had so much competition. Never had so many a thinkers been alive at the same time!!! Hush!!! In your attempt to silence the inner voice, you've gaged it, and it is its agonising calls for help that is making this disturbing noise.

The Kamasutra age theory: Ahem!! Ahemm!! (EVEN CHILDREN READ THIS BLOG). (Again so true even today).

The dark age theory: There is a devil in your head, and he is making the noises.( Once again, so true even today)

The blind-faith age theory: These are the chantings in your head.

The rational age theorey: Stop rationalising, and they will stop.

The printing age theory: Its the sound of the press, your thoughts are being printed.

The industrial age theory: The machine is jammed for you haven't used it since long.

The hippie age theory: The 'POT' IN YOUR HEAD IS 'CRACK' ING!!

The physics age theory:
Each time you use your head this equation is altered, and it produces the noise particle, which we haven't found yet, but after spending the entire world's fortunes and risking the very existence of the entire universe and building giant reactors in some destitute place for some no good experiment, we will prove that it exists. Till then, just mug up.!!

The outer space age theory: Aliens have taken over your head and are making the noise.

The World War age theory: Its the bombs that are exploding.

The entertainment age theory: The popcorn is ready.

The indigestion age theory: Its just gas.

The CLINICAL RESEARCH age theory: We propose that some non-sense mutations have occurred in your genome, and that has lead to some altered chemical imbalances in your head, and the “Thi*nk” receptor is hyperactive, similar to our findings in cockroaches,and gorillas. Take these EXPERI-MENTAL DRUGS and we'll see what happens.

The modern age theory: You guys are just too smart!! Its not going to be easy for me to fool you. So, I'll not waste any time. I think that with the world scheduled to end next year and with the 'RIGHT TO INFORMATION' being enforced, I should reveal the secret.

Think that this fellow has gone crazy, well that I surely am, but even as you read this crazIER article, who is it that is reading it out to you? Now wondering whose voice is it that is speaking to you right now? It definitely doesn't sound yours! Whose is that golden voice, with whom you converse for hours on ends? Who is it who know all your dark secrets. Read till the end and you'll get the answer.
When was it the last time, that you had the courage to go against it? When was it that, you doubted its very existence? Has it ever occurred to you that it may be wrong?
Yet, you have always believed and continue to do so, that what it says is always for your good. But, do you understand, that it means good for everyone and you are not a lucky exception. Though it always gives you options, then leaves it for you to make the decision, it is it that ultimately makes all those decisions. It is it that raises those doubts, and solves them as well. Have you ever actually lived your own life? NO. It is the voice that is guiding your life. It is the master, and you are the puppet. So powerful is the voice and its control on your psyche, that if it tells you to jump from the terrace, you will. If it tells you to keep quite, you will. If it tells you to kill someone, you will. If it tells you to close this window right now, you will.
This is the one who has been there since you were born, told you when to cry if you feel hungry, or dirty your nappie. It is the one who decides what you like, and when you should laugh. It is one who decides, how loose your character will be. It will tell you that you are supposed to be jealous at your friend's success and rejoice your competitor's defeat. It will make you bitch about people and poke your nose where it doesn't belong!! Though you may feel that you should not do these things, you end up doing them, because IT SAID SO.
It is the voice, that the deaf can hear, and the dumb can speak. It knows all languages. All secret codes. It even has commands on the HIV and the amoebae. It is omnipresent.
Wondering how I know so much about this voice? Or, are you wondering what is my inner voice like,that it tells me to publish such things. Why are you smiling and liking this non-sense? How do I know this? Well the answer is simple:
I am your best friend. Even though you may not have met me, you have seen me (that's why I've kept the background as it appears). You have known me and I have known you and we share the inner voice.

But, then do I have an inner voice? No, because:


Oh, don't just laugh it away.
But, right now you are not ready to accept it. That's because, I don't want you to accept it. It is a secret that I've kept since the beginning of time and I wont give it away, just like that. Thus, no matter however hard you try to accept it, you will not, because I DO NOT WANT YOU TO;>)
Thus, we can add one more to The long list of those 'OPEN SECRETS'. ITS KNOWN TO ALL, BUT STILL ITS A SECRET because, you wont believe it and I won't let you to!!
So, no matter how-so-ever you feel right now, I know it, because I want you to feel that way. That's the way I want you to be. Now, if I feel you have a good sense of humour, I will make you comment below, and if I want you to be a depressed little creature, I wont let you comment below.
Its not your choice, its mine!