The Sthethoscope Poem

There was a young man in a boston town,

He bought him a stethoscope nice and new

All mounted and finished and polished down,

with an ivory cap and a stopper too.

It happened a spider within did crawl,

And spun him a web of ample size

Wherein there chanced one day to fall

A couple of very imprudent flies.

Now being from Paris but recently

This fine young man would show his skill.

And so they gave him his hand to try

A hospital patient extremely ill.

Then out his stethoscope he took

And on it placed his curious ear,

Mon Dieu! said he with a knowing look

Where here is a sound that's mighty queer

.

There is a empyema beyond a doubt,

We'll plunge a trocar in his side

The diagnosis was made out-

They tapped the patient ;so he died.

Then six young damsels,slight & frail,

Received this kind young doctor's care

They all were getting slim and pale,

And short of breath on mounting stairs.

They all made rhymes with ''sighs" and "skies"

And loathed their puddings and buttered rolls,

And dieted much to their friends surprise,

On pickles and pencils and chalks and coals.

So fast their hearts did bound,

That frightened insects buzzed more;

So over all their chest he found,

The rale siffilant and rale sonore

He shook his Head.

There's Grave's disease,-

I greatly fear you all must die;

A slight postmortem,and if you please,

Surving friend would gratify.

The six young damsels wept aloud.

which so prevailed on six young men.

That each his honest love avowed,

where they all got well again.

This poor young man was all aghast;

The price of stethoscope came down;

And so he was reduced at last,

To practice in a country town.

Now use your ears,all that you can,

But don't forget to mind your eyes.

Or you may be cheated, like this young man.

By a couple of silly,abnormal,flies.

By Oliver Wendell Holmes- An American physician & Poet Harvard Medical School.

BEFORE THE ALARM GOES OFF....

28th June, 2011- a date which will always remain etched in my mind, not because it is the day when I have proposed, but because it marks the day the “Final rotations” of our clinical postings have begun. As I see it, the CET results have been declared, and the grand joons will be arriving any day soon. It just seems yesterday, that my results were declared and I landed up in the college of my dreams! Drishti’09 and Aavishkaar’10 seem such a memorable past. Now, it will be someone else’s experience. And very soon GOSUMAG’11 will fall under the same category.

What makes me think more, more than that these are the final months for us to learn, practice, expertise and master our clinical skills, is that these are the final months indeed. “One and a half year more”, someone may point out to me, but don’t you realise how quickly these three years have gone past, these months will nothing but just fly away as well! And if my friend Einstein’s theory of relativity is to hold true, then these will run out even quicker, even before you and I realise it.

On a brief and quick flashback, I am amazed at the amount of experience this place has helped me amass. And I am sure, greater experiences are still in the pipe-line. It has indeed “metamorphosed” me, but in a good way and will still do some more.

What the future holds in store for us, only time can tell. Only time will prove whether 28th June marked “THE BEGINNING OF THE END” or just “THE END OF THE BEGINNING”! Till then I wish to extract more than a hundred percent of joy and memories out of the precious moments that I have left here at the Seth Gordhandas Sunderdas Medical College and King Edward VII Memorial Hospital. A sound gongs in my head “TIC – TOC, TIC – TOC ............” can you hear it? Very soon, the alarm will go off and the dream shall be over!

Mr. J's REPORT

(This is a concluding continuation of a previous blog

THE ANONYMOUS RED ROSE. It is advisable that you read it once (click here) , if you haven't earlier, or revise its contents to follow the conclusion better)

After all the researches and investigations, Mr. J proclaims that the case of THE ANONYMOUS RED ROSE is solved!

He also notes that the issue received undue importance and unwarranted attention, considering it wasn't that grave a crime! Thereby, things just snowballed. Mr. J also feels that if he had not intervened when he did, things could have got worse.

The reason why he declined the offer initially was because a lot of people involved were his close associates and he did not wish to strain his relations by implicating any of them. However, he could not reject the call of duty for long, and finally took it up!

THE ANONYMOUS ADMIRER

'The Anonymous Admirer' is none other than the Blue-Eyed Girl. Mr. J's initial suspects were every male in the community, but after deep and thorough investigations and interrogations, he realized that all efforts were being made in the wrong direction and hence no ground could be broken. (Not that he wishes to break any ground. It is vacation time and he wants children to enjoy the play.) He was able to single out the Blue Eyed Girl because of his accurate observations, awareness and high index of suspicion. Here is the entire story:

'That the Blue Eyed Girl and the Dumb Boy had mutually mortgaged their hearts was a well known fact. However, over the past couple of months, situations had changed. The Blue Eyed Girl had realized that there wasn't much scope of development with the current partnership and had singled out on another developer. For that to happen, however, she would have to release her heart from the mortgage of the Dumb Boy. The interactions had slowly, changed into a love-hate relation, in which the Dumb Boy loved Blue Eyed Girl, and the Blue Eyed Girl hated the Dumb Boy. The Dumb Boy, because he was Dumb, could not understand the shift in poilicies and political will, and therefore, continued to remain encroached on the Blue Eyed Girl's property.

This led the Blue Eyed Girl to formulate the Revised Dumb Boy Eradication Programme under which was to get him involved in unruly activities so as to serve as means to achieving the goals. The calculations and statistical analysis that had been available since a long time, indicated that an Anonymous Red rose to the Rose Cheeked Girl would serve as an ideal start for the campaign. It would definitely lead to massive and large-scale public outrage.

These findings were confirmed by the fact that although the Dumb Boy had received clearance certificates by both the erstwhile investigatory committees, his mortgage license to the Blue Eyed Girl's heart was revoked immediately only under the pretext of being a suspect and unestablished grounds of indisciplinary actions. Also, that this was the first incidence of its kind, and all others followed suit. This monumental incidence, however went unnoticed and was under-reported, as everyone was busy investigating for other causes. It was only when Mr. J investigated, that it was given due importance.

Suspect 2 and the Blue Eyed Girl, had in the past too, attempted to sign treaties, but all talks had failed due to some conditions which were unacceptable to the Blue Eyed Girl, which included technological backlog. However, considering the recent developments and success of Suspect 2, he had caught the Blue Eyed Girl's attention. Mr. J would like to make a special mention here that Suspect 2 is a very industrious individual, and was constantly on the look-out for appropriate pacts, treaties and coalition from other appropriate authorities. And the prospect of the Blue Eyed Girl Project were very rewarding to be let gone.

(artwork by his greatness Jayesh Vira)

Verdict:

The culprit is the Blue Eyed Girl, but he does not recommend any punishment, for RIGHT TO GROWTH, RIGHT TO HAPPINESS AND RIGHT TO SELF-DETERMINATION are fundamental rights of an individual.

THE THIRD THREATENER:

At the end of his investigations, Mr. J has found out that the Third Threatener, is none other than The Rose Cheeked Girl.

Who the other two threateners were is quite obvious and the co-responding authorities have accepted responsibility for the same.

Mr. J felt suspicious of The Rose Cheeked Girl, when he went to inform her about the threats served to Suspect 1. The reaction that he received from her were totally unexpected! The behavioural pattern indicated that she was aware of the happenings. On further probing it was realized that the Rose Cheeked Girl felt that her future would be doomed if the allegations on Suspect 1 were to be true! She felt that her good will and face value would suffer badly and irreparably if the allegations were to be proved true. Also, that such a revelation would be detrimental to many of her future projects and would actually drive many of the prospective partners away.

Verdict:

Mr. J concludes that what the Rose Cheeked Girl did was to the best of her abilities according to the need of the hour and keeping her own best interest in consideration . He, however, strongly recommends that she keep herself updated on modern operational techniques, so that she can provide a standard of treatment which is acceptable to all and abreast with the modern times, should such situations arise in the future.

Mr. J also concludes that the methods used by the erstwhile investigatory committees are Barbaric, and should be discontinued immediately. He also suggests that they be dismantled with immediate effect and a new committee be appointed to look into all such future incidences.

He would also like to add an end-note that when ever help is required for the larger cause and benefit of HUMANITY, he will always be a phone call, sms, or email away. If you don't have this information, all you have to do is go on the terrace of any building and shout “Mr. J save me. Help. Help!” and he will be there within the blink of the eye.

Mr. J urges you to be mature citizens of the world and act accordingly.