A-JO: The Love Story of A Cute and A Serious Boy.

This is the legend of A-Jo and the love of his life, Baby.

1942 B. C., Mesopotamia:

The times in Mesopotamia were changing. The glory and the prosperity were past their peak a long time ago. The hardships that had come upon the subjects had forced a great amount of civilian unrest. Riding on a legacy of peaceful and prosperous existence that spanned over millennia, the administrators of Mesopotamia found themselves incompetent to tide over the crisis. Some serious steps were required to be taken and quickly. For Mesopotamia, the time was running out quickly.

The crisis of Mesopotamia had started a decade ago with the state of Avon declaring its independence after the central army of Mesopotamia failed to secure its gates against the invading Trichons of the North. The Trichons of the North had abducted the Low Chancellor of Avon, Teea and the subjects of Avon had demanded Teea be rescued. But as the constitution of Mesopotamia placed the state before the rulers, this was not to be. And this led to Avon declaring its independence. Many other neighbour states who feared an invasion by the raiding Trichons of the North too declared their independence. Thus, cut off from its most of its resourceful regions, Mesopotamia was under tremendous stress.

“What should we do now?” asked the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“We need to do something, I think!” reiterated the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“We should consult someone.” said he High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“The Oracle of Jay had predicted the crisis of Mesopotamia a thousand years ago!” reiterated the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“But no one knows where the Oracle is now. The founding Fathers of Mesopotamia had hidden in some undisclosed location. And the boundaries of Mesopotamia have greatly expanded since then.....” said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Yeah, and greatly shrunken also”, chucked the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Whatever! We need to find that Oracle. It’s our only hope.” said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Guards, take out our torches and load our ships. Today we said to find the lost Oracle of Jay.” said the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“We cannot go! We are the administrators of Mesopotamia. And also that we are old..... None the less, in order to correctly express the gravity of the situation, we must call this a very High Level State Sponsored Secret Mission. We will have to appoint someone to do this.”, reiterated the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“But, how will we find the right person to find the Oracle of Jay?” asked the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Just the same way as our founding fathers founded Mesopotamia. We will leave at night and travel through the darkness with blindfolded eyes and whosoever we see in the morning first will be our man.”, declared the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Or woman.....” chucked the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

And so they set sail. The night was spooky. And the Chancellor's constant chucking throughout the night also contributed to freaking the High Chancellor out of his skin. Finally, the day dawn. The duo unfolded their eyes. And stay in the midst of the unknown land waiting to glimpse upon someone. Waiting for their hope.

At a distance the High Chancellor saw a young man in his early twenties walking alone, whistling a sweet tone. “Good morning Young man. We are the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia and the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.”, said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Sire, I am A-Jo. I am a cute and a serious boy!” replied the young man.

“A-Jo, the entire fate of Mesopotamia depends on you. You have to find for us the Oracle of Jay”, said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Okay..... How does it look, where is it?” asked A-Jo.

“Well, if we knew all that stuff we would have got it ourselves.....” chucked the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“We will wait for you here so that you don't have difficulty finding us later”, said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“It seems like a dangerous voyage. Searching unknown things in unknown lands. What if I don't return.......” asked A-Jo.

“Well then, we won't wait for you.......” chucked the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Huh...!” exclaimed A-Jo.

“Young man, we'll settle all that after you come back. And think positive. The nature calls for you. Remember, we want only the Oracle, you can keep the ruins of the war!” said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Ok, but what if I run of supplies on my journey?” asked A-Jo.

“Tell them, you are on a very High Level State Sponsored Secret Mission.”, replied the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“And how will I know when I find the Oracle of Jay?”

“Just trust your instincts.” replied the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

And so, A-Jo set on a journey after which his life would never be the same.

After travelling for 2 days, A-Jo was finally out of liquor. He went to a shop and demanded liquor. The keeper gave him and when asked to pay, A-Jo replied, “I am A-Jo. I am on a very High Level State Sponsored Secret Mission. The State will pay you.” And so, the keeper handed him over to the state authorities.

“Who are you?” asked the Counsel.

“I am A-Jo. I am on a very High Level State Sponsored Secret Mission.”

“What non-sense. And which state is it?”

“The State of Mesopotamia!”

“Guards, Mesopotamia sends drunken spies to Trichon. Imprison him in the invasion tower. They will have to pay for this....... Another invasion is on..... In three days we will invade Mesopotamia.”

In the detention tower, A-Jo was thrown into a cell with only one window. The room was dark and clumsy but for a narrow beam of moon light entering in through the window. A-Jo had become sober by now. “Who--- Who's there? I am A-Jo. I am on a very High Level State Sponsored Secret Mission of Mesopotamia.”, he asked.

“I am Teea, the Low Chancellor of Avon.” was the reply.

A-Jo looked towards the narrow beam of moonlight flooding the clumsy cell. And what he saw stunned him. He lost many a heart beats. From the shadows emerged a figure. Flawless fair colour. Hair that shimmered in the moon light. And did I forget to mention that he had never seen bigger or more beautiful eyes than those. The gait, majestic and classy. A-Jo was swept off his feet. He moved closer. Extending his hand, he touched the beautiful face feeling the warm breath.

“You are so beautiful. What can I call you?” wondered A-Jo loudly.

“Baby! That's sort of a pet name.” replied Teea.

“Oh Baby, you are the most beautiful creation of the creator. All my life, I have dreamed of someone like you. If only I could make you mine?” A-Jo excaimed.

“In fact, you can!” replied Teea. “If we escape from here, you can. Finders keepers!”

“That’s great. But how do we escape from here?” asked A-Jo.

“Well, you seem to be the chosen one. So, you figure out.” replied Teea.

“Have you never tried to escape?” asked A-Jo.

“Well, no. Why should I? I am the Low Chancellor of Avon. Isn't Mesopotamia supposed to send someone over to rescue me? This is such a moot question. And also I don't know horse-riding.”, replied Teea.

“O......, but for this beauty, I would never rescue you. And by the way Avon has been independent for over a decade now and so technically speaking its Avon's job to rescue you, not Mesopotamia's.” replied A-Jo.

“My God, I am ruined! That invasion has brought about so much bad...” cried Teea.

“Do you care educating me a bit more about the invasion?” asked A-Jo.

“OK. You must be aware that Avon has been known to produce the finest species of horses, the Avonian Raptors. Unknown to us, some of our Raptors had escaped our stable and run into the Trichon territory to the North. The Trichons, now craved for the Raptors. And so they invaded Avon and took away the Raptors.” replied Teea.

“Then why did they capture you?” asked A-Jo.

“Well, their leadership felt that I would look very lowly of the mighty Trichons to invade only for horses. So, as the Head of State they took me away as well, aiming to bargain me for a few more raptors and extending the olive stick. But, now I can understand, Avon and Mesopotamia are themselves in a mess, so nothing has happened. Bloody bureaucracy!” sighed Teea.

“I heard them planning to invade Mesopotamia again in three days! What could they want now?” asked A-Jo.

“Well, as far as the rumours go, they are upset over Mesopotamia sending over drunk spies! Or, in untrained hands, Raptors are difficult to control. They must have run off and now they want more.” said Teea.

“Then why don't they trade you for some Raptors as planned, rather than invade?” asked A-Jo.

“You see, Avon is independent of Mesopotamia now. I was an administrator for Mesopotamia. Now, in Avon nobody cares who I am. Dirty politics!” replied Teea “Now I get why this tower is also so sparsely guarded.”

“So, escaping will not be difficult. There is the Great Bear”, said A-Jo pointing at the stars from the window “So, that is the north and Mesopotamia is in the South-East. We have directions. All we need is time and speed.”

“Well, you’re getting lucky!” exclaimed Teea “Baby likes you, and he is the fastest Raptor I've known.” replied Teea.

“Then, what are we waiting for? Hop on. Let's go Baby!!! Yee-haaa!” cried A-Jo.

Surely, Baby proved that he was the fastest horse on Earth. By the time the guards could alert the borders of the escape, the three had already galloped out of sight. By noon the next day, they met the High Chancellor and the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Here's our man!” exclaimed the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“And his woman....” chucked the Chancellor of Mesopoamia.

“No, this is my Baby! And this is the erstwhile Low Chancellor of Avon.”, replied A-Jo.

Mesopotamia prepared its armies.

“I want you two, to quickly go to Avon and get them on our side.”, said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“But she is worthless there. Avon is independent of Mesopotamia and no one gives her a damn!” protested A-Jo.

“Go there and tell the people that the proponents of Independent Avon had you abducted and Mesopotamia has rescued you. Come on, I expected better from you! You aren't new to this....” said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia, looking at Teea.

“Dirty politics.....” chucked the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

And with that Avon and her sister states resolved to rejoin Mesopotamia. The Trichons surrendered when they heard of Mesopotamia preparing an army. Thus, the borders of Mesopotamia expanded even in the North.

“But, the kid didn't get us the Oracle of Jay, and yet he kept the ruins of the war....” chucked the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“That is the Legend of the Oracle of Jay! It always appears when Mesopotamia is in danger. Let us say, we have hidden it somewhere safe, only to be searched when Mesopotamia is in danger ever again!” said the High Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

“Legendary...!” chucked the Chancellor of Mesopotamia.

A-Jo and Baby lived happily ever after.

THE INNER VOICE

HELLO friends, rejoice, I am back. Today's topic of discussion is as usual very spiritual, 'THE INNER VOICE'. For centuries, philosophers and thinkers have wasted their hairs on answering this inner voice. This is the one who has no other occupation but to keep on raising questions. Scholars say, that if not for the inner voice the world would not have progressed. I say, if not for the inner voice the world be a very boring place. If it tells you to close this window right now, you will. If it decides that you should read further, you will.

The con master that I am, I have time and again proposed quite a few theories towards the origin of this inner voice (as some of you know that I am about a zillion years old. In short I am IMMORTAL), to fool the mortals:

The stone age theory: There are stones in your head, and as you use your head they rub against each other and make noise. This holds true for many people today as well, just that now a days most of these noises are externalised rather than keeping them internalised.

The water age theory: Each time you think, there is a tsunami in your head, and that is what makes the noise.

The fire age theory: Every time you use your head, some of the sawdust inside catches fire, which causes the noise.

The animal-husbandry age theory: Every time you use your head, its the whip on the ass, that makes the noise.

The poultry-farm age theory: The eggs inside are hatching.

The wheel age theory: There is a donkey cart in your head. Each time you use your head, the cart moves and the donkey makes the noise.(Thus, the MENTOS advert is so true). This theory too, holds true in many cases today.-)

The agriculture age theory: Every time you use your head, its contents get husked and that makes the noise.

The metal age theory: The empty vessels are banging against each other, and making the noise.

The ice age theory: Well, the glaciers are sliding.

The vedic age theory: This is the time when I had so much competition. Never had so many a thinkers been alive at the same time!!! Hush!!! In your attempt to silence the inner voice, you've gaged it, and it is its agonising calls for help that is making this disturbing noise.

The Kamasutra age theory: Ahem!! Ahemm!! (EVEN CHILDREN READ THIS BLOG). (Again so true even today).

The dark age theory: There is a devil in your head, and he is making the noises.( Once again, so true even today)

The blind-faith age theory: These are the chantings in your head.

The rational age theorey: Stop rationalising, and they will stop.

The printing age theory: Its the sound of the press, your thoughts are being printed.

The industrial age theory: The machine is jammed for you haven't used it since long.

The hippie age theory: The 'POT' IN YOUR HEAD IS 'CRACK' ING!!

The physics age theory:

Each time you use your head this equation is altered, and it produces the noise particle, which we haven't found yet, but after spending the entire world's fortunes and risking the very existence of the entire universe and building giant reactors in some destitute place for some no good experiment, we will prove that it exists. Till then, just mug up.!!

The outer space age theory: Aliens have taken over your head and are making the noise.

The World War age theory: Its the bombs that are exploding.

The entertainment age theory: The popcorn is ready.

The indigestion age theory: Its just gas.

The CLINICAL RESEARCH age theory: We propose that some non-sense mutations have occurred in your genome, and that has lead to some altered chemical imbalances in your head, and the “Thi*nk” receptor is hyperactive, similar to our findings in cockroaches,and gorillas. Take these EXPERI-MENTAL DRUGS and we'll see what happens.

The modern age theory: You guys are just too smart!! Its not going to be easy for me to fool you. So, I'll not waste any time. I think that with the world scheduled to end next year and with the 'RIGHT TO INFORMATION' being enforced, I should reveal the secret.

Think that this fellow has gone crazy, well that I surely am, but even as you read this crazIER article, who is it that is reading it out to you? Now wondering whose voice is it that is speaking to you right now? It definitely doesn't sound yours! Whose is that golden voice, with whom you converse for hours on ends? Who is it who know all your dark secrets. Read till the end and you'll get the answer.

When was it the last time, that you had the courage to go against it? When was it that, you doubted its very existence? Has it ever occurred to you that it may be wrong?

Yet, you have always believed and continue to do so, that what it says is always for your good. But, do you understand, that it means good for everyone and you are not a lucky exception. Though it always gives you options, then leaves it for you to make the decision, it is it that ultimately makes all those decisions. It is it that raises those doubts, and solves them as well. Have you ever actually lived your own life? NO. It is the voice that is guiding your life. It is the master, and you are the puppet. So powerful is the voice and its control on your psyche, that if it tells you to jump from the terrace, you will. If it tells you to keep quite, you will. If it tells you to kill someone, you will. If it tells you to close this window right now, you will.

This is the one who has been there since you were born, told you when to cry if you feel hungry, or dirty your nappie. It is the one who decides what you like, and when you should laugh. It is one who decides, how loose your character will be. It will tell you that you are supposed to be jealous at your friend's success and rejoice your competitor's defeat. It will make you bitch about people and poke your nose where it doesn't belong!! Though you may feel that you should not do these things, you end up doing them, because IT SAID SO.

It is the voice, that the deaf can hear, and the dumb can speak. It knows all languages. All secret codes. It even has commands on the HIV and the amoebae. It is omnipresent.

Wondering how I know so much about this voice? Or, are you wondering what is my inner voice like,that it tells me to publish such things. Why are you smiling and liking this non-sense? How do I know this? Well the answer is simple:

I am your best friend. Even though you may not have met me, you have seen me (that's why I've kept the background as it appears). You have known me and I have known you and we share the inner voice.

But, then do I have an inner voice? No, because:

I AM THE INNER VOICE. LIKE IT OR NOT, BUT ITS TRUE. AND THAT COMPREHENSIVELY EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.

Oh, don't just laugh it away.

But, right now you are not ready to accept it. That's because, I don't want you to accept it. It is a secret that I've kept since the beginning of time and I wont give it away, just like that. Thus, no matter however hard you try to accept it, you will not, because I DO NOT WANT YOU TO;>)

Thus, we can add one more to The long list of those 'OPEN SECRETS'. ITS KNOWN TO ALL, BUT STILL ITS A SECRET because, you wont believe it and I won't let you to!!

So, no matter how-so-ever you feel right now, I know it, because I want you to feel that way. That's the way I want you to be. Now, if I feel you have a good sense of humour, I will make you comment below, and if I want you to be a depressed little creature, I wont let you comment below.

Its not your choice, its mine!

100 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Read my blog.
2. Bang the door in the face of a stranger.
3. Invite someone to lunch and do not turn up.
4. Pass derogatory comments on someone’s appearance.
5. Criticise a co-worker’s hard worked project.
6. Bring Gutkha to work.
7. Intentionally block someone’s road in rush hour traffic.
8. Pick up the tip of a waiter/waitress.
9. Tell a cashier “You’ll be robbed today”.
10. Call your ex’s present.
11. Enforce on someone that they *miss you *.
12. Ask someone to pay for your movie
13. Let someone know how deeply you hate them
14. Tease someone at a mental asylim.
15. Leave a child in a zoo cage with a lion anf hippopotamus.
16. Deflate your spouse’s car tyres.
17. Irritate someone with a false gift
18. Dirty the floor just after the cleaning staff has finished its work
19. Demand a share in property of a distant relative
20. Tell someone you were abusing them the other day
21. Hit a child with a ball
22. Rob your neighbour’s cake
23. Send allergens to someone where they work
24. Spill tea over a friend
25. Tear a good book you borrowed from someone
26. Rob others clothes while they dry
27. Intentionally push an elderly person on road
28. Shoplift other’s groceries a the cash counter
29. Drink “blood”
30. Disturb your friends baby when he/she/it is busy sleeeping.
31. Dump your kachra in your neighbour’s veranda.
32. Tell someone to get up saying the seat is reserved for you.
33. Look teasingly at someone carrying a heavy load.
34. Ask to see a stores manager and ill treat him.
35. Skip a que in grocery stores
36. Hug a good looking girl on the road for no reason.
37. Hold your doctor responsible for your ailments.
38. Bitch about someone else continuously.
39. Leave an inflammatory comment on someone’s answering machine.
40. Destroy someone’s aspirations.
41. Rob a child off his lolypop.
42. Forge a loan.
43. rob paper from a copier machine.
44. Tell someone that they are the most untrustworthy persons on earth.
45. Rob an umbrella on a rainy day.
46. Destroy your neighbour’s flower or plant.
47. Burgle into your friends home while they are away.
48. Treat others as if they are your slaves.
49. Cheat a child in a board game.
50. Tell an elderly person to stop moaning about his good old days
51. Dessert your family in bad weather and bad times.
52. Break someone’s fishpot.
53. Spit out someone’s food.
54. Rudely criticise someone who is depressed.
55. Tell someone you cursed them.
56. Tear other families’ children’s clothes.
57. Infest the entire neighbourhood’s vegetables.
58. Call your spouse to say you love your secretary.
59. Act as an attention seeker.
60. Hit someone with pebbles.
61. Ask someone about *his * wife and *your children *.
62. Neglect someone’s birthday.
63. Spit on the car next to yours.
64. Tell someone how you have better qualities than them.
65. Leave your shopping cart on the street.
66. Term someone’s dream as hypothetical.
67. Add your bill to someone else’s without them knowing it.
68. Leave a love letter addressed to someone else where your partner will find it.
69. Back answer an older person for advising you.
70. Keep someone’s pet hungry while they are away.
71. Tell your child how disgusted you feel about him.
72. Avoid a sick person.
73. Watch all episodes of big brother, Raakhi ka swayamvar, Raaakhi ka insaaf.
74. Leave a piece of chewed chewing gum on your co-workers seat.
75. Skip your child’s performance.
76. Break someone’s ipod.
77. Call a random number and start abusing.
78. Take something away from others home as gifts.
79. Write a poem for someone.
80. Make prank calls to your local police and fire department.
81. Litter your neighbourhood.
82. Destroy a child’s birdhouse.
83. Check in on an old person and ask when they’re gonna *die *.
84. Tell someone to give up cooking after they host you.
85. Bully a new employee at work.
86. While in a car push other’s heads out.
87. Take the bigger piece of cake first.
88. Stop and take a drink from a kids lemonade stand and donot pay him.
89. Never apologise for your mistake.
90. Project a middle finger to someone when they’re looking for a parking space.
91. send a copy of an old photograph to a wrong friend.
92. Hit a bowlful of icecream on your spouse’s face.
93. Put your work on others’ shoulders.
94. Act jealous of others when they tell you a good news.
95. Tell your co-worker the project would have been more successful
had you been involved not him.
96. Hit your spouse at the end of the day.
97. Always have breakfast in bed.
98. Tell someone they’ve gained weight.
99. Ridicule a charity show.
100. Tell your friend to read my blog.